2017 Firepunk Anteater Racing Team Biographies! (mostly non-fiction)

joefarmer said:
Day 8. Anteater Racing Team Bio #8. Isaac 'Bleucheese' Blaess. Once a 6' 3" midget with the Android-Chinese circus, Isaac Bleucheese found the light in the early 21st century. Famed for his attention to Picasso-esque body panel coloring, Monsieur Fromage Bleu can be found racing his 1997 Dodge Ram on the Outlaw Diesel circuit with style. "The Anteater controller eases my race day and my trips to the local wine and cheese distribution center." The cheeseman has arrived! Party time!

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Click to expand...

10/10 would nickname again.
 
Day 10. Anteater Racing Team Bio #10. Blake 'Balakay' Miller. Swinging high through the trees, the setting sun at his back, Blake aka Balakay pauses to reflect on his many racing accomplishments. Using his 2004 Dodge Ram, Blake has won everything from street races in Mexico, heart-pounding 300' dirt drags and so many trophies with ODSS his shelf is overflowing. "Chalk up another win for the Anteater. It makes my life as easy as pressing the go-pedal with it doing all the work" he proclaims before slinging Jane on his back and disappearing into the sunset.

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Also, the nickname Balakay has a back story.
 
BONUS!

Day 11. Anteater Racing Team Bio #11. Tristan 'More Spray" Dunlap. Born with a full head of hair and holding a -4an nitrous line in the womb, Tristan's legacy started at the ripe old age of 0. Never separated from his bottles, Tristan can often be found at the nearest giggle-juice dealer picking up this week's allotment of turbo-in-a-bottle. Tristan could be heard proclaiming "Though I'm not known for punctuality, I'm able to get to the line on time thanks to my Anteater transmission controller" as he cracked the valve and rode away on his mother bottle.

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