Top 10 Signs of Being Depolyed Too Long

Wow!

It's been a long time [Aug '08] since I last was on this website.

When I created this thread I never imagined it would keep going this long. Guess I should have called the Top 10,000.......

Glad to see the additions.

60 was the last number I saw... so here goes...


#61. Thoughts of giving KBR a run for their money by starting your own real estate office at the main base are almost at fruition.

#62. Going home to your wife for only 6 months just come back over here ahead of schedule for your SIXTH [or more] deployment is deemed normal by home leadership.

#63. Seeing and shaking hands with a contractor buddy a week ago [military retiree] who you last saw in '05, who said back then that he was gonna finish his second year with KBR and call it quits.

#64. 12 other empty stalls in a 13 stall outhouse and some flaming homo has to ruin my day and take the one right next to me.

#65. The CHOW HALLS go from bad to worse with the stroke of a pen with a new contract holder.

#66. It has always been a CHOW HALL and forever will be a CHOW HALL. You self-indulgent, politically correct whiners can kiss my arse.:shake:

#67. MRE's offer more variety and better quality than the CHOW HALL.

#68. Main base policy is that all personnel will attend "Right Start" AND "Right EXIT" regardless of this being your SIXTH deployment in as many months. "No exceptions shall be granted." :bang

#69. An E-3 augmentee on his first deployment ever, with 14 days of familiarization training, chambered weapons and a gynormous power trip guarding a useless post telling my aircraft commander [O-4] after working a 16 hour day he has no reason to drive our van to the hooch to drop off 6 people and 200 pounds of gear with out a vehicle pass. :what: :kick:
 
LOGANSTANFORTH said:
#37......controlled det's before while the announce it......."THIS IS A BOOOOOOM!!!!! "
Click to expand...

EOD got us with that one today^^^^^^touched it off right behind the fuel farm, blew the door on my office open almost 8 inches......i got pics of the giant mushroom cloud

82ndsnpr said:
but even we grunts must remember for every one of us there is 20 behind us supporting us so we can do our jobs. mail food fixing trucks doing pay it all needs to be done i just like my job better
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that is where guys like me come in.......
 
My goodness, I've never laughed so hard at something on this site as this list. It is so true, I have one tour down and most likely one more to go. And cant think of any truer words than what have been said above.:hehe:LOL
 
the list grows...

70. Two "AEFs" have come and gone and you're still here.

71. Grilled chicken breast on bread put through the "panini" grill is your only source of nutrition because you just cant stomach the other crap any more.

72. Ice cream is you alternate source...

73. Pax on the plane still cant comprehend that TWO asses will fit the red seats.

74. Pax on the plane still cant comprehend the brain-storm of seat-belt usage.

75. Pax on the plane believe the aircraft floor is their personal trash-can.

76. Pax on the plane believe that disposable, nasty, ear-wax saturated ear-plugs are somehow my responsibility to pick up off the floor at the end of each mission.

77. Pax on the plane are TOO STUPID to know even where THEY are going.

78. The grafitti on the walls of the porta-****ers is now your first source for headline news.

79. You have rented and watched every single movie available from the rec center and the library.

80. You somehow believe the gym is now "Club-Med."

81. The next best thing to having your wife of girfriend give you a "full-body" massage.... Paying $40 to some easten block former soviet women for one.

82. Masters lever Sodoko is no longer a challenge.

83. If common sence we're common, everyone would have it.
 
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I feel "seperated" from the group, since i am in the Navy. Please allow me to put in my navy quotes, as well as the "you have been deployed too longs"

1. you put a red light on your left side of your truck, and a green light on the right side.
2. when you say "we know this engine works perfectly, lets just put another one right next to it. just get it done"
3. Every woman that reports to your ship starts looking attractive
4. When 12 hours is a short work day
5. when you have to wake up extra early to eat breakfast
6. when the most amount of sleep at a time you can get when underway is 7 hours.
7. you have grown fond of coffee because it is the only way you can stay awake during the 22-03 and 03-08 watch
8. when sometimes the only warm item on the menu is the soup, and its usually french onion

This is all i have for now, kind of a disappointment, but nonetheless, i posted it
 
Here's mine...
When you can't tell your family what OIF number you're deploying on...you jsut tell them to add a couple of numbers to the one you were on last time...
 
lol i've been stationed in iraq camp ramadi a sausage fest and my pay is jacked up and hasn't been fixed in months."motor t rules"*bdh*
 
That's good stuff. Here's a few more. Some of these could be 10 signs Iraq is not a war zone anymore:hehe:

#84 You've read every Chuck Norris joke on the porta potty walls and can recite them from memory

#85 You go to Camp Victory and find out you have to a wear a reflective belt with your ACUs at night

#86 when the contractors/soldiers who have never deployed say "it must be 120* out today" and you correct them by saying it's only 111* and you're right on the money every time

#87 there are more contractors than soldiers

#88 You would rather be a vehicle gunner because it's too dam hot in the vehicle

#89 You can navigate the maze of T-walls with your eyes closed

#90 internet in your CHU is now as common as a bed and wall locker

#91 when you go back home, you put gravel in your yard because it doesn't feel right to walk on hard ground anymore
 
#92 when you come back in from a mission you find out the other patrol that was supposed to lauch has some jacked up trucks and now you have to give there your trucks for there mission then they coem back all fcked up and trashed

#93 hear the fobbits telling stories about when they were outside the wire when they ain left to fob since they landed on a plane

#94 you worry about taking a shower and getting a shock

#95 CoC makes these dumb arse PAD rules which have no common sense involved at all even though policy states to use it when setting rules for pads

#96 got these automatically promoted e-5 and e-6's that dont know **** from a hole in the ground and they get selected to teach movement to contact patrols techniques

#97 when the wind blows during summer your wear your gator neck over your ears to keep them from burning

#98 stirfry always looks and tastes decent but comes out like an arse rocket 30 minutes later

#99 us costums restricts you to 1 haji copy movie period that you can take home

#100 your forced to meet these governors, senators, government officals because they're from your state even though you dont give a chit

#101 got some PFC at the chow hall who stops you for taking more than 2 drinks out with you even though its fukin FREE!!
 
LOGANSTANFORTH said:
EOD got us with that one today^^^^^^touched it off right behind the fuel farm, blew the door on my office open almost 8 inches......i got pics of the giant mushroom cloud



that is where guys like me come in.......
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we're good at blowin loads... EOMFD :)
 
I can pretty much relate to some of these.......

Irish4 said:
That's good stuff. Here's a few more. Some of these could be 10 signs Iraq is not a war zone anymore:hehe:

#84 You've read every Chuck Norris joke on the porta potty walls and can recite them from memory

yep

#85 You go to Camp Victory and find out you have to a wear a reflective belt with your ACUs at night

#86 when the contractors/soldiers who have never deployed say "it must be 120* out today" and you correct them by saying it's only 111* and you're right on the money every time

yep

#87 there are more contractors than soldiers

yep

#88 You would rather be a vehicle gunner because it's too dam hot in the vehicle

thats why you bring it down to our HVAC shop so we can fix it

#89 You can navigate the maze of T-walls with your eyes closed

#90 internet in your CHU is now as common as a bed and wall locker

#91 when you go back home, you put gravel in your yard because it doesn't feel right to walk on hard ground anymore
Click to expand...

Texas Cowboy said:
#92 when you come back in from a mission you find out the other patrol that was supposed to lauch has some jacked up trucks and now you have to give there your trucks for there mission then they coem back all fcked up and trashed

#93 hear the fobbits telling stories about when they were outside the wire when they ain left to fob since they landed on a plane

#94 you worry about taking a shower and getting a shock

#95 CoC makes these dumb arse PAD rules which have no common sense involved at all even though policy states to use it when setting rules for pads

#96 got these automatically promoted e-5 and e-6's that dont know **** from a hole in the ground and they get selected to teach movement to contact patrols techniques

#97 when the wind blows during summer your wear your gator neck over your ears to keep them from burning

gotta love it, it hit 155 for several days August 08

#98 stirfry always looks and tastes decent but comes out like an arse rocket 30 minutes later

#99 us costums restricts you to 1 haji copy movie period that you can take home

2 words: Gorilla Box

#100 your forced to meet these governors, senators, government officals because they're from your state even though you dont give a chit

#101 got some PFC at the chow hall who stops you for taking more than 2 drinks out with you even though its fukin FREE!!

yeah, or the little Durka's that work in the chow hall wont let you have the amount of food you want.....
Click to expand...
 
#102 Knowing where all the small, hidden MWR's (like the 1701 here at Speicher and the Maintenance Yard one at Delta) are at so you can spend all the time you want on the computers and not have to deal with 50 Ugandan security guards wanting to use them......
 
#103 When the highlight of your night is watching the 1st timers in the fetal position in the bunker cause IDF hit 300 meters away and that was "close" to them
 
These are for Afghanistan, a bit more austere than Iraq was.

When going to Bagram means 5 star dining at a crappy Burger King and being surrounded by porn star-quality women.

When the troll chick with finance flies out to your COP and she is treated like a godess.

When you are wrong about the date by a month.

When locals stop smelling bad-it's not them, it's you!

When you wish you were in Iraq.

When you know where you are on the MSR by the size of the moon crater your MRAP just bottomed out in.

When you refer to the past not by dates but by the type of contact you took that day.
 
You don't stop for shiat on the side of the road on Patrol

You freak out on everything on the side of the road in states

You don't take your ruck off when you get home to "greet" the wife

You go look for a firefight to break the monotony

You do not even hear Arabic anymore. Its like that naggy voice the wife uses

And last for now.....

A box of frags is normal riding next to you
 
You Know You Have Been Deployed for Too Long...

When you think it is a good idea to have sexual intercourse with a grease tube...
 
104. When you lubricate the area next to the toilet seat in the porta jon to keep haji from squatting there.
105. When you get a nice buzz from the 2 beers on superbowl sunday
106. when you start charging to new guys to wire the Ipod into their vehicle headset
107. when you think pouring petroleum products into the ground is considered recycling
108. when you get home and forget you have to pay for bottled water
109. when every guy that had a girlfriend back home is single and every guy that had a wife is singe and broke
 
LOGANSTANFORTH said:
#102 Knowing where all the small, hidden MWR's (like the 1701 here at Speicher and the Maintenance Yard one at Delta) are at so you can spend all the time you want on the computers and not have to deal with 50 Ugandan security guards wanting to use them......
Click to expand...

There's the one in the PAX terminal at Delta to, and it's never busy, and NEVER has a ugandans in it!
 
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