The smaller end of the wheels are measured. Its called the inducer on the compressor wheel and exducer on the turbine. Usually diameters are given in mm, but on the larger turbos its common to hear them in inches, here's a couple examples of compressor sizes: 66mm = 2.6 inches, 71mm = 3.0 inches.
The compressor inducers give a rough idea of how much air the turbo can move. Generally speaking bigger compressors move more air and are slower to spool. The turbine wheels will always be slightly larger than the compressor.
Then comes the turbine housings. Depending on the brand these are given by the a/r ratio or the volume in cubic cm. The most common ones are 12 cm^3 or 0.70 a/r and 14 cm^3 or 0.80 cm^3. A tight housing will spool quick and choke up top while a bigger housing would be slower to start spooling but will flow more on the big end.
This is where wastegates comes in. A wastegate allows for the quick spool of the smaller housing with the flow of a larger one by flowing air around the turbine when it comes to a certain boost level. That too is a generalization because while most turbos open the wastegate at a certain boost level, there also mods available which can make a wastegate open based on the pressure of the hot side. The flow of the wategates is determined by its size. Wastegates also serve to limit the speed of the wheels under the point where they heavily wear bearing and/or explode.
As far as inlets and outlets go the inlet on most the aftermarket stuff is the same as stock, 4". The stock turbo uses different downpipe hook up than most of the aftermarket. The one you'll hear about most of the time is a hx40 downpipe, its 4" out and hooks up with a v-band clamp. Turbine inlet for stock and what most of us are running is a T-3 sized, while the turbos used in twins can be as big as T-6. I forget the size of the compressor outlet, it something like 2.5-3" connected with a v-band.
You'll see a lot of different turbo configurations, but most of the aftermarket turbos are based on the hx-40, s300g, s400, k31, and a few garretts/ turbonetics also. There's a lot of stuff I'm skipping (blade counts, wheel shape, pitch, compressor covers,....) but that might be enough for you to get a basic level of understanding. Garrett's page has some turbo basics available also:
http://www.turbobygarrett.com/turbobygarrett/tech_center/turbo_tech101.html